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CHAPTER 6

BLORGCHARITY

This blog is a small documentation of the creation process of this years Charity Performance „walking“. I wanna open a new space, a door, to give you the opportunity to see how this comes to life. I will post articles on a regular basis and share with you my thoughts in creating. Feel free to comment, ask questions and be a part of it.

CHAPTER 6

Just a bunch of thoughts, rather uncontrolled in order, chaotic but I decided that every state should be shared. It will reach those that should be reached.

We are all afraid to search, cause the search will open up the door to the possibility to find an empty space. That thought is scary. What if I find an empty space? What if I try to find myself and I find nothing instead? What if I have nothing to offer? What if I am simply nothing…

Who defines what I am, what I do, what I feel? That has been all important questions to me, long before I started this research about freedom. I realized that finding emptiness was inevitable. Now I know that emptiness is the goal, the starting point and even though it is scary to face ground zero, it is not easy to be found. It´s the base of all truth and became the base of all I create.

It´s such a complex topic and I am trying to find the right words. I am good with words but maybe „walking“ will speak louder then my words could. I became more silent with the time. I found emptiness and spend time with it, embrace it. It became freedom and peace.

I stand in the space and I feel the emptiness, I feel that now I can do everything. I remember all the things that I once felt as a part of me. You know, those things you see in the world and then you realize they belong to you for some reason. I think of them, I collect them, I put them in this empty space. Then sometimes something happens. If I lie I throw it out and create emptiness again. Emptiness feels better then a lie. The freedom to be true is what „walking“ became.

Thank you for taking the time to step into my thoughts.

You´ll hear from me very soon.

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CHAPTER 5

BLORGCHARITY

This blog is a small documentation of the creation process of this years Charity Performance „walking“. I wanna open a new space, a door, to give you the opportunity to see how this comes to life. I will post articles on a regular basis and share with you my thoughts in creating. Feel free to comment, ask questions and be a part of it.

CHAPTER 5

You did not hear from me for a while. I was caught up in some processes that I did not feel like sharing. I had some questions in my head on the topic of Freedom. If you are clicking in for the first time, we dedicated our this years Yerba Buena Charity theatre production to this topic. I was confused cause I realized we all believe in the romantic idea of the concept but we are lacking the definition of it and a common understanding on what freedom means and what it is.

For me Freedom does not mean to being able to do all I want without thinking of other peoples needs I am actually trying to find the middle. I feel very free sometimes when I am surrounded by the community. But the struggle of find the middle between what is good for the community and my own desires are sometimes really hard to find. We find ourselves in so many different stages in so many different processes yet living in the same time and sharing the same place. Creating a space where everybody can grow and help others to grow is the goal. A culture of love.

Sounds clear but it is really confusing at times. So how can we actually access that?

The piece is about freedom. Its shades, its tastes, its expressions. There are many different ones and they are all interesting and beautiful. I am seeing at all these dancers and I am studying them and their perception of freedom. I am learning a lot. We work on some tough stuff and I am trying to push them in the direction of finding their own taste of expression and freedom.

We need to start to feel. Feel our bodies again, feeling the floor under our feet representing security and unity with nature, feel our chest lifted high representing the air in our lungs and unity with the universe, feel our body extend to its maximum representing that we are eternal with all our versatile desires and needs. Maybe then our dance tastes like freedom.

Thank you for taking the time to step into my thoughts.

You´ll hear from me very soon.

 

Chapter 4

BLORGCHARITY

This blog is a small documentation of the creation process of this years Charity Performance „walking“. I wanna open a new space, a door, to give you the opportunity to see how this comes to life. I will post articles on a regular basis and share with you my thoughts in creating. Feel free to comment, ask questions and be a part of it.

CHAPTER 4

Today is my free day, well, here I am anyways. It´s pretty hard to take a day off with so many processes being active. So instead of taking a day off and just hanging around, I let my mind wander and receive new creative impulses. Writing has always been an important tool for me. My brain is usually a chaotic place and I think most of my creative outcome is only caused by me trying to order the processes going on in my brain.

The last two weeks were like a computer with 100 open tabs. I was longing to have a bit off time were I can only spend getting lost in creative process. Unfortunately this is not the reality of an artist. We always wish for it but basically never have this privilege. That has to do with money but in my case also with the fact that I am easily on fire for something. So it´s hard for me to select.

This is exactly what is happening now. I am ordering ideas, re-thinking them, writing them down, kill some darlings, bring them back to life and start this exact process all over again, until one moment, it hopefully turns into a homogeneous mass that will be called a piece. This process is exhausting. It´s really similar to giving birth.

Every artists gets their inspiration differently. I can focus best in moving objects. Thats why a nice long train ride is a great place for me. The longer the better. If I am lucky and put in the mental work I get off that train with a full worked out concept for the next piece. There is something magical about train rides, the combination of movement and stillness has inspired me for many years. Receiving landscapes, long views over different color fields have inspired me and shaped my pieces ever since I am doing art.

This semester I am heading back to this and stop seeing my work as labeled. I have many influences and this will all be integrated in this years work for the Charity Performance „walking“. We already told you that the topic we are reflecting over is „Freedom“ so I am living this topic right here, right now. I was researching in all my works to the topic of identity, it was always something that aroused my interest. Who are we even, what does that even mean to say „I am Sarah Balzat“? How does she dance, speak, move? Does she even really exist? That might seem a bit too dramatic to you (No worries, I am used to be called dramatic). All these labels are temporary anyways.

I can not build an empire on something that I am not. The cage of a label is no longer my place. We are all playing this roles of our labeled identities and that is just part of life, being labeled by others, labeling ourselves. You may know me in one way, maybe you know me as a mambo dancer, or the passionate teacher, the dramatic women or whatever you experienced me like when you happened to cross my path. Sarah Balzat in the end is just an invention, a character but what truly speaks is my art, it is a exact reflection of me in that moment. You may heard me using a certain voice and identify it as the voice of Sarah but now I am gonna speak with a different voice, let it sink in and let´s go on a ride to freedom.

Have a week full of free thoughts and maybe discovering some unexpected inner voices.

You hear from me very soon, the process is on fire, Cheers!

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Chapter 3

BLORGCHARITY

This blog is a small documentation of the creation process of this years Charity Performance „walking“. I wanna open a new space, a door, to give you the opportunity to see how this comes to life. I will post articles on a regular basis and share with you my thoughts in creating. Feel free to comment, ask questions and be a part of it.

CHAPTER 3

The artistic process came to a small hold today as I injured my shoulder two days ago. After having to cancel my rehearsals for today, let´s say, my mood was not at the highpoint of the project. We are rehearsing a show with a length of about one hour in 5 month with over 100 dancers of different experiences and the pressure is always high. Not only money but also time is rare. So I did not feel like taking a day „off“, but my body took it´s right and over the years I have learned not to overlook this need. This never turns out well.

I took the chance and spend the time in the office. Since the trailer production was finished it was now time to write to potential sponsors and present our project to them. I send out several personalized E-mails to different companies and private people that could be interested in financing a part of the project. It is a bit hard for me as true fundraising and sponsoring is not my expert field. Basically I know nothing about it. All I am is passionate about what I do.

To start off: Asking for help is not easy for me but I seem to get confronted with this topic again and again and I am open for the lesson. Someone important told me last year: „Sarah, if you wanna go into charity, you need to learn to ask for money with confidence“. Well, she was right, so I go out there and present this project with confidence about my passion. I am convinced about it, about it´s purpose and my role in it. So this is how I present it.

After sending out all these e-mails, it took five minutes and I received the first answer to one of my e-mails: a rejection. Well thats fine, I knew it was ok, did not loose hope.

It took one hour and I received a second answer from another company. This time they were interested in collaborating with us, they liked the project and were simply asking what we need. We are now negotiating the conditions.

Maybe thats my artistic way of thinking, but for me the relation to the sponsor is much more then just the money or the things that they donate. I see this as a co-creative space. How we can create an image together with the resources that each of us have? They become an active part of the community and have all privileges that each member of the community has. The work with the people is not different, or the work with the other involved artists is not different. We all sponsor our resources.

Sometimes we forget what we have to give, what is precious to contribute. That a contribution that seems small to you can make a big difference in other peoples life. Well I leave this here maybe it makes you think.

I close my laptop with a smile today, knowing that our community has grown by two sponsors that will contribute to this project. I wish you a beautiful evening full of precious confident contributions to whatever you are passionate about.

Cheers!

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Chapter 2

BLORGCHARITY

This blog is a small documentation of the creation process of this years Charity Performance „walking“. I wanna open a new space, a door, to give you the opportunity to see how this comes to life. I will post articles on a regular basis and share with you my thoughts in creating. Feel free to comment, ask questions and be a part of it.

CHAPTER 2

MONEY…we are dealing with this toping on an endless basis. It is no surprise, that a high quality production, and who knows me, knows that I always thrive for quality, is requiring money. It starts with the theatre costs, technicians, stage manager, light designers, video production and ends with coffee and food for the volunteers. In between you can find an endless money swallowing black hole.

We are already blessed with some generous souls that help us to put things together and to find resources to pay what is necessary. Right now the Pfefferberg theatre is supporting us a lot. They simply give us more than we could ever pay for and support the project quality and the dancers experience in an amazing way.

Like I mentioned in my last article we are now setting all collaborations for the new production. We have some amazing artists that support our purpose and share with us their artistic expertise. We will soon share with you some of our collaborations. All of them are working for the charity purpose and no-one gets paid for it. They simply donate their time, effort and creative energy. This amazes me on a deep level. Sometimes I simply sit back and ask myself „when did all of this happen“.

Then my head swings back and remembers that we still need a shit load of money to make it all happen. We took some longterm effort to find a stronger support system and during the last 8 month we were shooting a small documentation of the last production process. A friend and simply amazing documentary filmmaker accompanied us during rehearsals and the show and in the end we put together this great material in a professional trailer and using it as a base to present it to potential sponsors.

Investing private money is always a risk and for an artist this is always a sensitive topic but I take this very serious and hope to be able to achieve more planning security for the future through this. Even though I am confronted with many fears every day, I know that there has to be made some sacrifices, and I am ready to do so. I invest a lot of time and energy in the entire production and I am actually ok with it. I know what purpose I am serving, that gives me power. And I feel the love of all these people on my side that are believing in this project. We support each other oil reaching these goals.

I am not a promoter, nor am I a financial manager, in the first place I am an artist, but here it comes all together. I feel like swinging back and forth between these roles. It is what it is. Future is calling and with it hopefully some sponsors that help us to keep following the bigger purpose!

Oh and let me share our Project trailer with you. Click on subtitles for english translation. Feel free to share it with everyone you know, every share is a supporting act.

You will hear from me soon, Cheers!

Bildschirmfoto 2018-08-22 um 17.44.14

 

Chapter 1

BLORGCHARITY

This blog is a small documentation of the creation process of this years Charity Performance „walking“. I wanna open a new space, a door, to give you the opportunity to see how this comes to life. I will post articles on a regular basis and share with you my thoughts in creating. Feel free to comment, ask questions and be a part of it.

CHAPTER 1

It started. The most important 5 month of the year. We just started with the rehearsals and we are already all in. The rehearsals for the single scenes of the evening filling piece are split up onto 5 days of the week. We were finishing to do most of the rehearsal plan in advanced and can actually only hope that this organization of rehearsals will unfold the entire potential of each scene. We learned a lot out of the last years and try to optimize small things for a more flawless organization of rehearsals. Me personally, I always go into the first period with a small fear that time will eat my creative process.

„It´s normal“ I tell myself and usually after two, three weeks I melt into the process completely without looking right or left. I trust the process and let myself being led by my instinct. These small fears remind me how important some of my personal values are and it gives me a great opportunity to lecture about self-responsibility inside the teams and make sure everybody soaked in this value.

So, right now, I am pretty much torn between organization, creation, rehearsals and research. I am lucky to have some people on my side, that I trust unconditionally and that work for the values and not for me. We are all under the thrive for the purpose, thats actually a great feeling. I was doing everything alone before and the truth is:

It is damn hard to do good. But we keep pushing.

I strongly feel the importance of this purpose. This might be the most important of all the things I am doing.

Organisationwise we had a few bureaucratic setbacks that challenge our creativity a lot. Finding sponsors, finding the right juristic form for what we do and deal with the german tax-law are only a few of the stones in the way. But we knew there will be setbacks and we are prepared to flow around them. Asking for help was really hard for me in the beginning, now I realized, without this nothing will happen. So I jump over this fear and ask for help whenever I think it is necessary.

On the creative side, I am now working on setting up all collaborations for this year, work on the dramaturgy, saying NO a lot and read, read, read to get myself more and more into the topic „Freedom“. The process changes my own being so much. Now I am five month in this research and while talking to people, reading, moving and discovering I realize that I did not choose the topic. It is a voice of the spirit of the time.

You hear from me soon, now I am off to rehearsal! Leave your comments and don´t hesitate to ask questions, I would love to hear your thoughts about it,

Love

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